Playing With Fire

244 But I Feel like I’m Gonna Die: What Happens When Agreements Meet Attachment Panic

May 16, 2026

You decided to practice conscious non-monogamous relating, so you made well-thought-out, enthusiastic relationship agreements that reflect your values. And THEN, your partner actually goes on that date. Panic sets in, and those agreements are no match for what feels like a threat to your very survival.We call this attachment panic, and it’s what happens when jealousy activates our pre-verbal, survival-level attachment system. It’s not just an uncomfortable experience–when unchecked, these fee...

243 Making Decisions Together: Permission, Consultation, and Notification in Relationships

May 09, 2026

Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same frustrating conversations about decisions, even after you've gone through the agreement-making process? Us too! We've discovered that the real issue often isn't what you're deciding, it's that you've never actually talked about how you make decisions together.When we're crafting relationship agreements, most of us jump straight into the content—what's allowed, what's not, schedules, boundaries—without ever discussing the decision-makin...

242 Betrayal Repair in Non-Monogamy

May 02, 2026

Betrayal in non-monogamy can feel uniquely isolating. When you've already moved away from the traditional guardrails of monogamy—where exclusivity = safety and infidelity is the clear line of betrayal—what happens when trust is shattered? How do you even know what counts as betrayal when you don't have those conventional frameworks to lean on?This episode picks up where our (amazing!) conversation with Eve Rickert left off. We're moving beyond understanding betrayal to exploring w...